Skip to content
FREE SHIPPING ON Flatpacks, Exactpacks, and all ORDERS OVER $49

Trending

Most Popular Searches

Continue Shopping
Item Was Added To Your Cart
Your cart is currently empty.

Recipes

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

THIS RECIPE IS STRICTLY FOR MEN OVER THE AGE OF TWENTY-ONE AND UNDER FORTY. DO NOT MAKE THIS WITH YOUR GRANDMOTHER.

Submitted by: Keith from Manchester, England
Yield: One

Spices

Featured in this Recipe

Ingredients

  • 1 cup water
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • 1 cup lemon juice
  • 4 large eggs
  • 1 cup nuts
  • 2 cups dried fruit
  • 1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Preparation Instructions:

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl; check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK; try another cup ...just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS!

Browse For Similar Recipes

Comments

Rating:
Based on 7 reviews

Customer Reviews

Martha B.

Thanks for a good laugh!

beej

Butter is NOT mentioned in the ingredients but it is in the directions. NOT unless, I’ve had too much Cuervo & either forgot to mention it in the ingredients or just threw it in the directions.
Is it or is it not included in this recipe?
Sounds delicious, either way!!

Susan B

Don’t leave your grandmother out of the fun! She’ll make sure the cookies actually get done, and keep you from putting the stove in the dishwasher. You’ll have to share a little of the Jose Cuervo with her, but raising your mom or dad, she knows exactly how to “sample” it for quality without anyone being the wiser. Just make sure you sing some songs she knows!

Rachel T

Best First Step EVER!!!

Ellen G

Get the good Cuervo!

terri b

These are the best cookies I never had! :)

oscar c

After all the drinking/ When do you find time to bake them? Ha-Ha-Ha

Follow Us on Instagram @thespicehouse